Talking about hate

I saw this link this weekend about a blog-a-ton about hate. I wanted to write something, but didn't know about what until now. It's probably too late to join the group, but I think the idea is worth to be put out there anyway. I was very moved by the examples of hate crimes shown on this page, but couldn't think of anything I had to add to the discussion. However, today, another kind of hate has occurred to me, one that always has me wondering what is wrong with people, and how can they be so mean. I'm talking about haters through the Internet. You know, the ones that appear on blogs, or even forums, and feel like their opinion is so important that it's worth hurting people with it.

So, this issue makes me wonder what is it with these people? And not only the people on the Internet but everywhere, people who want their ideas to come across so fiercely that they blurt it out without ever thinking of the consequences.

Now, I have no idea what goes through the mind of anybody who writes on the Internet. Hell, sometimes I have no idea what goes through my mind. But it seems to me that these people are scared. It seems they value their opinion so much, that they think they somehow are linked to these opinions, and if they were ever proven wrong, they would lose their own value.

This world is very full of hate, and it is very full of very scared people. People that are scared not only of losing their opinions, but losing their way of life, their loved ones, their lives. And you know what? I can very much relate to these people.

Now, the part that is hard to admit: I'm a hater myself. I have written bad things on the Internet, I have cursed people on the street, and I have on occasion tried to force my opinion on somebody. OK, it is true that I never did anything worse than that. I have never hit, assaulted, murdered anyone. Not that I haven't felt like it sometimes. But there's something called restraint, and it's kind of important if you live in a society. But, that's actually a topic for another day.

The point I wanted to make is: I don't think haters and non-haters are all that different deep down. And I think that this is the very thing that creates more hate. Thinking that "those people" have some kind of problem that the rest of us do not share. And that is absolutely not true.

This discussion won't end today, it has barely started. I just wanted to put this thought in the open. Now, a little story that kind of illustrates my point.

Many years ago, I got a prank call. Somebody called my house collect, and started saying bad words. I did what I always do - hung up feeling terrible, as if those words were true. (hey, here's that fear I was talking about - I'm suddenly unworthy because someone I never saw before said bad things to me - not even about me).

Anyway, a few days go by and the girl calls again. This time, my sister answers the phone. And she did something completely unexpected. She started talking to this girl, asking why she was doing this, explaining that this was a bad thing to do. And the girl talked back, and told my sister all about her life. I don't remember the details, but I think she was poor, and her parents were fighting, and maybe she was also having problems at school. Nothing any of us hasn't gone through one way or another. They became friends, the girl called a few more times (not collect anymore), and if I remember correctly, one of the last times she told my sister things were getting better.

What I think? All haters are this girl. They just need somebody to pay attention, somebody to care. Am I being naive? Probably. Does it matter? Not really, if we realize we can be me and let the anger continue, or we can be my sister, and reach out a hand (or an ear) to somebody in need.