And this is great and horrible at the same time. On the one hand, if I ever had a chance to look at my issues up front, it is now, and maybe that's the first time I really have a chance to do something about the things I don't like about myself and my life. On the other hand... oh, I miss pretending everything is ok.
So, what is this crisis about? I'm questioning most decisions I made in my life. And the main reason for that? A lot of this decisions brought me a lot of pain, and I really don't feel like I have anything to show for it. I mean, I probably am more mature now. But if this is the only thing I've got, it seems like a huge price to pay. I wish I had more good memories. I wish I felt better and more proud of who I've become. And I don't.
Maybe the main reason for all of that: I lost my faith in pretty much everything. I was a very spiritual person. I'm not anymore, at all. I lost my faith in my family, and in my friends. I completely lost my faith in psychology's ability to help people. And I lost my faith in my ability to make a difference.
And now I'm left trying to find out what I still have to offer. And the answer? I don't have a single tiny clue.