Friday, 15 July 2011

Oh, I do have something else to write about. My cute little cats. This is the first time that I have my own pets. My family has had pets all my life, but they were never mine. (Besides the little hamster that my sister killed, but I was too young to notice anything). I find it so interesting to realize how they really do have personalities. H. is quieter, most of the time. Except the rare exceptions when she runs around the house like crazy, jumping all around. I don't quite understand why she does that. But normally she just likes to sleep, or observe. She's always happy to find a post, the higher the better, to look around. On the other hand, O. never does that. It's like she doesn't even realize there's a world out there. But she is crazy almost all of the time. She likes to play with her little mouse. H. couldn't care less about it. But O. goes around chasing it for hours. And she's like a little dog, bringing it to me, expecting me to throw it for her again. It's funny, because the mouse runs away sometimes. It hides underneath some furniture and is lost for months at a time. And O. doesn't even notice, but when it resurfaces, it's all she can think about. Specially when I'm trying to sleep. I'm really glad I chose her when I went to adopt her. She's so likeable. She has this cute squirrel tail, all fluffy. It's funny, because even though she has lots of hair, she's not exactly fluffy, so it's just the tail. And she's needy. She's always seeking for some contact, asking to be patted, rubbing against our legs, shoving her "face" (I forgot the actual word for this) under our hands. H. doesn't seem to mind. She hardly ever notices there's people around her. As long as she has a warm place to sleep and somewhere to look outside she's happy.
First of all, again with some doubts. Now I really wanted to write in Portuguese, but I've seen that most of the people that find my blog are from abroad. And I opened it with the hope that maybe I can meet some interesting people who are interested in what I have to say. So I have to write in English. I'm too lazy to write in both.
I'd really like to start writing again. It's hard to find what to say. Especially since the last time I wrote something the only person that commented complained that I only write about myself and I should help people. I really don't know how to help somebody with a blog. The only way I know is to write about what I know and maybe somebody that reads this will fell like someone else understands, they'll fell less alone. I don't think I'm anybody special that should be giving lectures, trying to teach something. I don't know, maybe the person that complained wanted help and didn't know how to ask. Which is a big problem, because she is one of the hardest people to help that I know. Anyway, she'll probably never read my blog again, so I'll just ignore it.
I needed some help this week. Really don't know who to ask for it. I think it's really hard to be a teacher. At least for me it is. I find it very difficult to understand what the students need, and even harder to figure out how to give it to them. I know I'm not very liked. Specially by the teens, but maybe that's not my fault. What I do know is that it's terrible when a student says they don't want you as a teacher anymore, after one class. I keep thinking, how horrible do you have to be that someone won't even give you a second chance. And now I'm scared to start with any new student, because I think the same thing will happen. I needed something or somebody to help me change the way I think. Otherwise I feel like never giving a first class again. And I kinda have to. I should start with two new students next week. One should have been today, but I cancelled the class because I was to scared. And everytime I think about the class I think about the coordinator calling me trying to understand what happened, why doesn't the student want me anymore. (And what's worse, the one that complained wouldn't even tell them what I did wrong. I don't even know how to try and get better.) Anyway, that's a lot more that I could say about this, but I'm thinking about the reader complaint again. And I keep thinking who would be interested in reading all this. So, just putting it out there so maybe the Universe can do something to help me.