I'd really like to start writing again. It's hard to find what to say. Especially since the last time I wrote something the only person that commented complained that I only write about myself and I should help people. I really don't know how to help somebody with a blog. The only way I know is to write about what I know and maybe somebody that reads this will fell like someone else understands, they'll fell less alone. I don't think I'm anybody special that should be giving lectures, trying to teach something. I don't know, maybe the person that complained wanted help and didn't know how to ask. Which is a big problem, because she is one of the hardest people to help that I know. Anyway, she'll probably never read my blog again, so I'll just ignore it.
I needed some help this week. Really don't know who to ask for it. I think it's really hard to be a teacher. At least for me it is. I find it very difficult to understand what the students need, and even harder to figure out how to give it to them. I know I'm not very liked. Specially by the teens, but maybe that's not my fault. What I do know is that it's terrible when a student says they don't want you as a teacher anymore, after one class. I keep thinking, how horrible do you have to be that someone won't even give you a second chance. And now I'm scared to start with any new student, because I think the same thing will happen. I needed something or somebody to help me change the way I think. Otherwise I feel like never giving a first class again. And I kinda have to. I should start with two new students next week. One should have been today, but I cancelled the class because I was to scared. And everytime I think about the class I think about the coordinator calling me trying to understand what happened, why doesn't the student want me anymore. (And what's worse, the one that complained wouldn't even tell them what I did wrong. I don't even know how to try and get better.) Anyway, that's a lot more that I could say about this, but I'm thinking about the reader complaint again. And I keep thinking who would be interested in reading all this. So, just putting it out there so maybe the Universe can do something to help me.